That wasn't easy...

Well last Friday my husband and I had to have Louie the Wonder Cat put to rest.  I have never had to do that before and wow was it hard.  Funny how you know it is the most humane thing to do but yet your head and heart still drown in guilt, sadness and pain.

I ended up taking the day off of work for Louie as he had really started to slip.  I started by working from home and he loyally layed beside me as I worked.  By mid-morning it became apparent he could no longer keep the force fed food down. I did however get him to drink some warm milk. When I took him out to get some sun he wabbled around like a little drunk kittie and tried desparately to find a place in the shadows.  He eventually had a little nap with is head stuffed behind my back and his body picking up the heat of the sun. 

Then it went horrible. His poor cancer ridden system began to shut down.  At one point he was excreting blood.  I had a real hard time convincing myself that I controlled my attitude and pretty much lost it. I called my husband and begged him to come home. He of course couldn't.

Once I got composed I called our vet to let him know that the cancer didn't go into remission and sadly we would need to get Louie in that night.

Louie and I just sat quietly beside one another.  I did some light work on the computer and he lay by the computer fan with the warm air blowing on him.

His system shut down some more and he lost bladder control.  I packed up the computer (yeah no pee on it) and then went and got a cloth soaked in warm water and cleaned him up.  I know he is a cat but in his eyes there was true gratitude.  He quietly purred as he got a little rub down and then got dried off.

I packed him up in his carrier (funny he had enough fight left to make it a bit of a challenge for old time sake).

We met my hubbie there.

Once there the three of us sat quietly in the greiving room.  He laid quietly purring away.  The hospital was great.  They didn't rush us.  We had some quality time.  Then they gave him a shot to put him asleep.  He was in and out while we got our last snuggles in.  The final injection put him to rest.  Steve held his little lifeless body.  It was so incredibly sad. 

Even the vet cried.  He had grown attached when Louie became the 3rd cat he ever knew to recover from liver failure.  Plus Louie seriously was the coolest cat ever! 

But to be honest if I ever shut down like Louie was sign me up for the being put to sleep.  It really is a very humane way to go.

I know I chose my attitude and I am okay with being sad for a bit. I miss the little guy. 

Comment (4) View (559) Show support

Tags: