I stumbled across this site in search of myself. I know that I am very confused as to what life has in store for me, but I would like to be in control of that, but I am not. I have been in a 9 year relation but I think it has ran it's course. We have been calling  our selves single but we still carrying on like a couple. I just don't know how to let it go. He is a wonderful guy but he is very insecure and when things don't go his way he can become verbally abusive. He is always accusing me of being with other people or even if I have a male friend then the guy has to want more from me then just being friends. I am tired of always having to report to him about everything cause if I don't then it's oh you got something to hide and all this other stuff. I am just tired and I don't even know if a relation is for me at this time. I guess he is one of my biggest problems! But I wantto become more comfortable with myself and the decisions that I make.

In the past I have never had anything as far a material goes. We always got the cheapest things never anything name brand. But I wouldn't have known until I moved with my aunt. I had my first child at a young age and his father isn't there like he should be. He got locked up and I started seeing the guy I am with now. He always wanted to be around me but i dind'tthink anythin of it up until now. He wants to go every where with me and if I don't'want him to then it's a problem. I mainly work at resturants up until about 3 years ago and I got hired on permenant at the company I am at now.

I want to be finacially and emotinoally secure about myself. I want to be able to give my children everything they need and more. I want to have a career that I want not just a 'job'. I want to be a positive influence on my children!!!!! I want someone who wants that for me an encourages me to get it. I want to be happily married!!!