goldendiamondpanda: 2007-08-30

says: I don't have any major issues about this, but I just wanted to say it's a really important subject and I hope that your work will be helpful for people who need it. Resentment only hurts people more.

Cloudy: 2007-07-05

says:

I was married to a man who was later medically declared as a paranoid schizophrenic, who was also an alcoholic and a sexual pervert. Being totally helpless financially and barely educated, for 20+ years, I lived with this bully who beat, thrashed, clobbered, battered, punched, kicked and verbally abused me. He would spit in my food and make me eat it. As I was scared of the dark, he would deliberately lock me out of the house at nights sometimes. He seemed to find great pleasure out of my tears.  He always called me a parasite and hated spending money on even my bare necessities. When I was sick, he would hate to take me to a doctor.

I had no support and nowhere to go. Some Higher power made me resume my studies inspite of my hostile circumstances. I was not allowed to go to the college so I studied at home and struggled to understand things that needed explanations. I became a graduate and subsequently post graduated. I also completed my teachers training and then got a decent job in some other town. I moved out of his house with my two children. He insisted on coming along with me. I did not know how to shake him off. But in my new place, gradually my attitude started changing. I learnt to assert myself. I dared to defy him. If he hit me, I would hit him back. My children also came to my help now that they were old enough.

Years and years and years and years of having lived without the support of a loving partner started taking its toll. By middle age, I would cry and lie in bed the entire day doing nothing.  I became an introvert and a recluse and thoughts of suicide filled my mind. Then a miracle happened! One day I accompanied a neighbour to her Spiritual Master’s Ashram and from then on my life TOTALLY changed. I received initiation and started doing meditation. A wonderful peace filled my heart and I felt the LOVE of God. It was as if God had taken control of my life. Now when something bad happens to me or someone is unkind or cruel, my inner voice tells me that God is powerful and could have stopped this if He had wanted to. God cannot be cruel for He loves me. But since He let this happen, then it must be because He wants me to learn something from this experience. I try to analyse and try to understand what God wants me to learn. And then I get the courage to forgive and smile at all--- a sincere smile which is not artificial. There are deep wounds and cruel resounding words and tragic memories associated with my husband. He no longer beats me but does throw tantrums. I am making a conscious effort to forgive him and also help him and take care of him now that he is a physically sick person too. In his own way, he seems to have now learnt to love me and rely upon me.

MandaZie: 2007-07-01

says: i could use advice on releasing past relationship anguish/anxiety as well

ultimate: 2007-07-01

says:

Sending you lots of love

Mosaic Moon: 2007-06-30

says:

Hi there,

I'm having to work on forgiving my ex-husband. He is an alcoholic and has chosen to make this his life. 

I met him when I was 18 and had a 10 year on and off relationship with him.  We have a daughter together. She is 8 now and is amazing.

I look at her and see such pureness and such intelligence. I see her pain when it comes to her father and how she doesn't even want to acknowledge that he is her dad. She is angry at him for the decisions that he's made.

I'm good friends with his current girlfriend. She is being abused, hurt, degraded, and is living with the chaos of his disease. It saddens me because I used to be her.

I'm about to start the process of removing his rights. Thank goodness he is three states away and has been for the past three years.

I've since remarried to the most amazing man, but my anger and resentment is still there.

My new husband has an ex that is also not ok. She has a severe psychological problem and holds huge resentments and anger towards Eric and I. She is doing everything in her might to prove my husband has an anger problem. It's really odd how this is the reverse of my situation.

Eric does not in the slightest have an anger problem. He is an incredible human being and is  such a positive role model to our world. She has spent the past few years trying to paint him as something he isn't and the courts believe her. She is the victim and he is the aggressor which is false...but we have had to learn to not react and forgive, for we cannot control her actions.

We hope that by not reacting...we will come out winners. We are both in the process of forgiving and learning from these situations.

We are also working on being successful individuals and focusing on the positive. It's really working and we are very happy.

But forgiveness is something that is a continous process.

Thanks for listening!

Stephanie 

ultimate: 2007-06-26

says:

Thanks Cathie, 

I know it is important work.  Thanks for the reminder about mindmapping.  It is a great tool. .  What is your novel/screenplay about?

Peace

Cathie: 2007-06-25

says:

I too am working on "a screenplay" or "novel", haven't really put it into a form yet.  Just been mindmapping it.  I know your project will be a big hit.  A long time ago I needed to forgive three people who had emotionally hurt me.  Once i did it through groups and therapy, I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders,

sounds great! 

Sending you a hug