I am, as my mother would like to point out, the sum of all that has happened to me in my past, with a unique twist that makes me, Me. I am middle aged, have four children, wife, cat, and a new puppy. Sometimes I feel more at ease with the puppy than I do with the other humans in the house!

Like a lot of people the financial turndown/crunch has effected us heavily, and it weighs on me greatly, to the point of depression. I've done my best to keep a happy face but that has been proving harder and harder. It has gotten to the point where I often question my use at work and in the family, which is a mental-place I don't like to be at, so I try to be more engaged with my family. I wish I knew how to be a good father! I'm not sure anyone really knows.

So I work, I live, I raise my kids, and I try to teach the puppy not to pee in the house. I like photography, cartooning, and writing, and would like to go back to school at some point. I already have two degrees but have ended up in a field very not related to them. I like to learn, and I hope that perhaps extra education will help bring me out of the funk I've been in.

I grew up in Alberta, Canada, in what would officially be described as a "dysfunctional" family, though we didn't consider it as such at the time. My parents divorced when I was very young and my sister and I grew up with our mother. Knowing I wanted something 'more', but not really knowing what that 'more' was, I went to school, obtained a B.A., then moved to the other side of the country (Ontario) and earned an M.A. While there I met the woman who is now my wife and she brought me down into the United States, where we are now.

When I look back at my past I come to the realisation that I never really excelled, or was good, at anything, and much of that was my own fault. There are times I wonder if my dad was really proud of me or if he just went through the motions - the same with my mother. It's tough being self-conscious and always concerned about how others view you, and I realise that started when I was young. But it is the past that makes us who we are today, and knowing this gives us the power we need to make positive changes.

My future is mostly laid out for me: I have four children ranging from a teenager to a one year old, so the next 20 years of my life will be spent getting them ready for the world. My primary goal is to raise them to be a better person than I am. If I can do that, I will be pleased.

More immediately I have personal goals and financial goals that I'd like to meet. I'd love to get out of debt - that's a given. Sometimes it seems like it's a far, far way off. I also want to become a better person in the community, a better father and, personally, a better photographer, cartoonist, and writer. The neat thing about the internet is that anyone can post their goods online, and I'd like to take advantage of that the best I can - if I can earn some extra money doing it, too, all the better! But mostly it would be nice to have a creative outlet and to meet people.

I would be lying if I said I did not want a career change. I do. So I'd like to go back to school and earn another degree - I'm thinking of an MBA. I'm only 38 and can happily change careers in four years time. Ultimately I'd like to be in a place where I can make a positive change not just for myself and for my family, but for society as a whole. I have children, and would like to be a more positive influence and role model.