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Join Now double WOW! by yamiboy
 
yamiboy
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Birth Date: Fri, Nov 14 1980

Place of residence:
santee california, United States (map)

I am: Single & Not Dating

Schools: Mt. Miguel High School

Jobs: MVC - Draftsman

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Member Since: 09/21/09
Last Login: 11/03/10
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double WOW!

 

 

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yamiboy

  yamiboy

Wed, Mar 10 07:11 AM

double WOW!

 

ok, first off, i hope everyone has been doing good. i havent been logging on and doing the work because ive been busy with a suprise bathroom remodel for my dad(excuse, i know!). my mom knew about it but my dad did. he was out of town for some family stuff and came home to it last night. he was rather shocked!

 

the past 2 weeks ive been in heavy thought and reflection on myself. not to question what i have done through tools so far but just reflecting on my trust issues that i spoke with before. yesterday i was sitting in my doctors office, talking to her about seeing a therapist or psychologist and it dawned on me. its not a trust issue specifically, its my insecurities i am not facing. i have defeated my depression but i havent faced my insecurities. so instead of facing them, i have been running from them and trying to hide them in a relationship with my ex girlfriend. trying to get her back so i can feel secure again and all that. well she has seen thru my bullshit since day 1 on my insecurities and it has driven her away. not realizing i have been running, its now time for me to turn and face my demons head on and beat the shit out of them! i have always had this awesome mental picture in my head of the life i want and the life i feel i should be living but i never realized that my insecurities have held me back from achieving this. i dont feel right continuing on with Tools and completing the course just yet. my plan is to go back thru Tools and review things that im missing or not doing in my life and refocus on those to improve my life even more. i have also made an appointment to see a professional on April 7th. ill admit im nerrvous. nervous about the possibility of alot of work ahead of me and not what the doc might find. i know i can do the work i need to become an even greater person, i just need to do it.

 

its time to fight! fight for my right to party!

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This post is cheered by:

JadeDragon (canceled account) JadeDragon (canceled account) creativeamp68 creativeamp68 earthfireg earthfireg kawasakiDoll250 kawasakiDoll250 tenaciousj tenaciousj AnnieEm AnnieEm


 

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AnnieEm AnnieEm:

Sounds like you're doing the right thing

Take it at your own speed and learn the lessons you need to learn... just keep moving forward! And good luck with your appointment, you will learn a lot about yourself.

tenaciousj tenaciousj:

Great Work

You are working hard and should be proud of youself.  I redo certain days of Tools all the time.  I take my time because I know I'm not getting it all.  I also plan to finish Tools and redo the entire process over and over and over until I achieve all the great things I am capable of.   Good luck with your professional -- I hope it helps.  Keep us posted on your progress and know we are always here for you Cool