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Join Now Just a heads up... by yamiboy
 
yamiboy
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Birth Date: Fri, Nov 14 1980

Place of residence:
santee california, United States (map)

I am: Single & Not Dating

Schools: Mt. Miguel High School

Jobs: MVC - Draftsman


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Member Since: 09/21/09
Last Login: 11/03/10
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Just a heads up...

 

 

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yamiboy

  yamiboy

Tue, Mar 16 09:56 PM

Just a heads up...

 

just wanted to drop a line to everyone... im still around. ive just been in some really deep thought and self reflection. ive come to realize some deep seeded issues im working on and trying to overcome. it has not turned me off to Tools, thats why im still blogging on here, but it has caused me to do the right thing and slow down on my progress from day to day. the conclusion? i have control and im afraid to get hurt so i dont trust others with my heart. it has to do with control, im not in control of that other person hurting me, breaking my heart, so ive stayed single for most of my life. ive had chances to date other women throughout my adult life but i chose not to because i didnt want to trust them with my heart so i didnt allow it to happen. with my current love, i gave her my heart but i never trusted her with it. why? its because i have no control over wether she will hurt me or not and that terrifies me to no end. it has caused me to hold back in life in lots of ways. ive had many, many crushes on women but i never take that chance because of the fear...

 

with that being said, im very happy to have a chance to change for my future and my future with any future romances. its a harsh reality to discover but i know i can fix it and i can move on to a bigger and brighter future!

 

time to keep working on my Tools and my goals....

 

i want to wish everyone well and the best in life! keep doing work!

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Go ahead and risk it

It sure sucks to have your heart broken, but it also sucks to not love. The only cure for lost love is... love!
 
We got your back, Yamiboy! Heal yourself and move forward.
 
Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore. 
-Andre Gide

i like that quote...

its about getting outside of my comfort zone. i dont like to be outside it and i have no control outside of it so, eventhough i want to go outside of it, i dont even venture out of my comfort zone. i know i need to but some paralyzing fear holds me back. thats what i need to break down. its good to learn this and figure this out. its a huge wall that i need to figure out how to get around. thats what im focusing on right now. i cant go thru it so im figuring out how to go around it.

Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings in the world

I understand your hesitation. Shit, my heart was recently broken when I discovered a girl I was trying to date didn't reciprocate my advances. But don't let ANYONE hold you back, yami.

 

True, you cannot control if another person hurts you or not, but you CAN control how you REACT to that person. Be PROACTIVE...REFUSE to let anyone affect your emotional well-being (it's one of my 20 Rules for Empowering my Life I created in TOOLs).

 

And thank you for reminding me that there are people out there who've had their heart broken recently just like me. I needed to hear your words today to remind myself there are people who deserve a deeper, better love like ourselves. We'll find ours, buddy! Believe that!

 

Love is the best fix you can ever get. And like AnnieEm says "risk it". It's worth it if you snag the right one.  :)

held back...

its not just anyone that holding me back. it ME thats holding myself back. thats what im trying to figure out. WHY i hold back. WHY i cant just "lose control", in a sense, and be free. something inside of me wants to be in control 100% of the time. this means with who im with too. thats what its been the major root of the problems between me & my current love. i want to give her my heart but somethings holding me back from "losing control" and fully allowing her to have my heart.

 

i like AnnieEm's quote... ill do the work and make the change!

sorry, bro...

...a bit exhausted this morning and was blathering on mindlessly.

 

Time will heal that trust issue you have. By trusting yourself, your inner voice, and your intuition, you will see the light. 

 

Good luck, man!

thanks dude!

yeah thats what im still struggling with on this issue the most. is trusting my inner voice and my intuition. both tell me to trust her and to do what best but my "outter" voice is still saying not to. thats what im trying to determine. why my outter voice is saying that so i can shut that outter voice up. no worries on the exhausted part. ive been babbling too... just so much on my mind, i gotta get some of it out ya know?