Certificates:
Tools Program Stats:
Member Since: 09/21/09
Last Login: 11/03/10
Viewed: 12865
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 2
Member Since: 09/21/09
Last Login: 11/03/10
Viewed: 12865
Program in:
Program Progress: Day 2
yamiboy's Challenges:
yamiboy's Participating:
yamiboy's Participating:
Personal Interests:
Music:
I like pretty much anything from rock to rap to country to oldies... you name it, i probably like it.
Books:
I love motorcycles and street bikes. I have found interest in biker gang books. mainly the ones from the good guys trying to act bad. like : Under and Alone, and No Angel. however, im not interested in being an outlaw biker, i just like to read about them.
Favorite Places:
I Want To See:
The world! I want to see more of the United States first then move my way to the outter countries...
Hobbies:
Activities:
Sports:
Movies:
TV:
Heroes:
I Want To Meet:
comments
glad you took that step
It helps to get help.
Congratulations on day 82 you go. You can see the finish line, so go all out for it.
It's Great that you're working on you.
I wish I could get my husband to a therapist. He claims he would love to talk to someone and when I print out all the therapists names and numbers on our insurance plan he does nothing. You are working it and that takes courage. I hope it helps -- please let us know how it goes.
J...
thanks for the positive feedback. i got to the point in my life where i knew that there was something inside of me that was hindering me from living my life to its fullest. i didnt know what it was so i decided to seek help. i have found a therapist that seems to be a nice guy and understanding so far. he gave me the book to read and im reading it in hopes that it will work for me.
as for your husband, time will prevail. it took me a while to go see this guy. the tough part is, for most men, its a pride thing. they dont want to admit that something could be wrong with them to the point that they cant fix it themself. once your husband realizes that, he will go. thats what it was for me. i tried to fix it on my own but i realized i could only fix part of it and i needed the help for the rest.
keep it up everyone & ill keep you posted on my well being!
Guys being Scared
I know my husband is scared. I see everything he can be and how totally awesome he is, but he has no clue. I'm about done with him and this marriage (22 years) and have gone to the point of telling him to call a marriage therapist or we're getting divorced. He's in shock and being sweet and wonderful ever since the "blow out". His sweetness won't last and he'll go back to being a negative jerk with no self-esteem. We need counseling because he can't hear me and I have a terrible temper. When we fight I will rip him up, which isn't productive, fair or loving. If I call the counselor then whatever happens will be all my fault. Therefore, I've put the ball in his court and told him he needs to make the call and appointment to save our marriage. I forgot to give him a deadline. Dammit!! We need to work on this together, but we really need an objective observer to intercede when things get ugly. Life is brutal, but good. We all need help - - it's just hard to ask for it and deal with all of it. It's hard to work on yourself, but I'm hopeful I will get better, but the hand I hold is the hand that's holding me down. Keep on Tooling!! We can do this.
This probably should have been blogged, huh?
Careful with ultimatums, J...
Now, I want to stress that I'm not trying to step on anyone's toes here, so please forgive me if what I say may be offensive to anyone.
My therapist told me ultimatums/deadlines don't work and only serve to drive the person further away. You're removing them from making their own decision and it brings resentment towards the person giving the deadline. It didn't work with my ex when I told her I would divorce her if she didn't stop drinking by xx months. She had to WANT to make it work for herself. (She didn't, thus our divorce.)
What you, yami, and your husband, J, need to realize that it is a pride thing with guys, but if we want to improve our current situation and stop spinning our wheels therapy is essential to progress. I wanted to save my marriage, so I swallowed my pride. Unfortunately, my marriage didn't work out, but thankfully I found something extremely valuable: humility.
Yami, I'm proud of you, sir. You took that step and you are working to improve yourself. There is NO SHAME for a guy to admit he needs help. We want to be our own kick-ass selves and sometimes it takes someone else to help us find our faults and weed them out.
Good luck!
Don't worry.
I found this in the news paper while on my lunch break at work when I was about 20 years old.I taped it to the top of my toolbox and it is still there.It has helped me so many times.It just has that ironic truth to it. I hope you like it.
WHY WORRY,
THERE ARE ONLY TWO THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT
EITHER YOU ARE WELL OR YOU ARE SICK.
IF YOU ARE WELL THERE IS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
IF YOU ARE SICK THEN THERE ARE ONLY TWO THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT.
EITHER YOU WILL LIVE OR YOU WILL DIE.
IF YOU LIVE YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
IF YOU DIE THE YOU ONLY HAVE TWO THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT.
EITHER YOU WILL GO TO HEAVEN OR YOU WILL GO TO HELL.
IF YOU GO TO HEAVEN, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
IF YOU GO TO HELL YOU WILL BE SO BUSY SAYING HI TO YOUR FRIENDS YOU WON'T HAVE TIME TO WORRY!